


My Bloody Valentine

by Acatnamedeaster



Series: Short n' Smutty [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Genderswap, Het, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-29 23:00:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acatnamedeaster/pseuds/Acatnamedeaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Done for Severus_Sighs 2013 Anti-Valentines Day Fest.<br/>Sirius comes home on Valentine's evening to a very different person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Bloody Valentine

"Did you even think to ask how my day has been before you started slobbering on me?!"

"But-but..."

"No! Of course not! To you I'm just a warm place for you to stick it and to hell with how I'm feeling! Isn't that right?!

"But-but..."

"Right! Why should you care if I've had a bad day so long as I lay back and let you rut?! That's what you think isn't it?!"

"No! I just..."

"Just what?? Just wanted to have it off? What a surprise! You... Why the devil are you staring at me like that?!"

"Err, something seems different about you today. Your face, it looks...different."

"I- It's nothing."

"Severus?"

"Injury? Where are you injured? Did you get burned? Show me."

"Well, perhaps not an injury but...

"But what Severus? What happened?"

*sigh*

 

"Your powers of observation are astounding."

"How did this happen?"

 

"After I'd cleaned up I realized that...well, that these were here."

"So it's only a temporary situation then?"

"Yes, I expect everything will be back in, erm, order by the morning, sooner if I can suss out what caused this and brew an antidote. Now, if you'll excuse me."

"Well now, don't be too hasty. After all, it is Valentine's Day and all. Why don't we transfigure that work bench over there and take your new toys out for a spin, eh?"

"You can't be serious!"

*Chuckle*

"You know what I mean. Hey! My face is up here!"

"Oh, umm, sorry."

"What the hell is wrong with you? You're acting like a randy 13 year old! I thought you preferred men and yet here you are practically drooling over...this."

"Yeah, well, I prefer steak too but I'm not going to turn down a nice piece of chicken if you wave it in front of my nose."

"Did you just compare me to a piece of chicken?!"

"Mmm, yeah a nice, juicy piece of chicken."

"Why are you looking at me that way? You look like you're about to devour me. It's bloody unnerving"

"Devour you. Yeah. Come over here, let me show something. I promise you won't regret it."

*Sigh* "Then why am I completely sure I'm going to regret it?"

 

"Yes, I'm mad, completely round the twist, whatever you like, now please, Severus, just let me fuck you. Just a little bit. Pretty please, I swear, I'll make it good for you."

"Absolutely not!"

"But why?"

"Oh love, the last thing I want is for this to be unpleasant for you. I promise, I'll be gentle and stop as soon as you tell me to. Please Severus, don't make me get on my knees."

"For fuck's sake! I need to have my head examined but yes, fine, all right, if it'll put a stop to your pathetic begging. But you have to stop as soon as I say so! Swear it!"

"I solemnly swear I will cease and desist as soon as you give the word and if I don't you can hex my bollocks from here to Hades."

"Trust me, I will."

 

*Sigh* "That was absolutely brilliant, love. I can now say you're the best lay I've had, male or female. Now where did I toss my trousers?"

"What?! Where exactly are you going, mutt? Oh, I see! You got what you wanted and now you're off. Heading down to the pub? Am I that repulsive to you now that you have dash off the moment you're done with me? I should have known!"

 


End file.
